G Ö Ç
hayreddin meral kardeşime
siste çıkılır toz senfonisiyle
çöl sabahı kutup gecesiyle çıkılır yola
arpa boyu güneş mızrak boyu ayla,
oturmuş gözlerini dikmiş
denize rağmen
lapa lapa yağan kara bakan
denize rağmen çıkılır yola.
göz kadar suskundur deniz
güneş huzmeleriyle bir o kadar konuşkan,
hep bir öksürük vardır sessizlikten önce
demet demet boğazlanan sükun vardır
ve bir tırmantı dudaklarda.
durup sallanan
sallanıp duran ağaçlar
başucunda duran
kalkıp yürüyen ağaçlar
delikanlı bağırlara ne söylüyor delikanlı gökyüzü
bir hayatın bittiği yerden yürüyen hayat
kederin içinde patlayan neşe
ne söylüyor,
karanlığın gecede biriktiği zaman
ağaçların durup dinlendiği zaman
hesap üstüne hesap
azap azap üstüne azap kaynaştığı zaman,
ellerde anahtar korkusuyla
gecelerin hesabından yapılmış tesbih korkusuyla
suda iz bırakan pıhtı korkusuyla
hayatı beyne yoğunlaştıran yürek
ne söylüyor?
durup sallanan
sallanıp duran ağaçlar
başucunda duran
kalkıp yürüyen ağaçlar
gece neredeyse öldürüyordu denizi
en ulaşılmaz yerde öldürüyordu
çıban eziyordu gece.
dar vakitlerde kullanılan geniş zaman
iki değirmenli bir hayatı eziyordu,
uçurum ürküntü ve kasırga
kastetmiş kardeşlerine
bir çıplağı soyunmuşu bir haini öldürüyordu.
durup sallanan
sallanıp duran ağaçlar
başucunda duran
kalkıp yürüyen ağaçlar
ne zaman çıkılır yola?
bir tarih farz edelim yüzyıl evvelden
akşamı beğenelim sabahı yeğleyelim,
zamanın durup kalbin içinden geçtiği
bir başlangıç belleyelim.
merhale menzil safahat
adımdan adıma geçişten geçişe
buruşmuş bir elbise kanlı bir pelerin
kabuk çatlatan göz yırtan kan fışkırtan
saati bekleyelim.
durup sallanan
sallanıp duran ağaçlar
başucunda duran
kalkıp yürüyen ağaçlar
haydar murad
*Bu şiir, Güneşten Bir Adım Uzak-Yakın Oturum (Haziran 1990, s.25–27) kitabında yayınlanmıştır.
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