ÜSTAD NECİP FAZIL VE BİZ
Kitabını ilk ele alışım 1969’da olmuş. İlkokul üçe geçmişim, babamın tayini İzmir’e çıkmış, dolayısıyla memleketimiz Manisa’yla irtibatımız artmış. Terzi Nihat Amcalarla görüşmeye başlamışız; bazen biz Manisa’ya onlara gidiyoruz, bazen da onlar bize geliyor. Nihat Amca konuşkan, neşeli bir halk adamı; ailesi de bütün Egeliler gibi cıvıl cıvıl. Bir araya gelindiğinde yemekler yeniyor, çaylar içiliyor, sonra ikisi bir kenara çekilip sohbet ediyorlar. Tarikat kardeşi onlar; efendilerinden, onun söz ve sohbetlerinden bahsediyorlar, derin bir muhabbet içinde. Bazen de bizi çağırıp Üstad’ın Halkadan Pırıltılar kitabından bir yer açtırıyorlar bize ve okutuyorlar; ne hikmetse çoğunlukla da Hallac-ı Mansur hazretleri çıkıyor, onun trajik kıssası ve ibretamiz sözleri biz çocukları bile etkiliyor.
Kitap 1960 yılında Türk Neşriyat Yurdu’ndan çıkmış, sırtı ciltli, kapağı kartondan, tasavvuf büyüklerinin kısa hayat hikâyeleri ve öğütlerinden oluşan 250 sayfalık bir eser. 1960’lar dini kitapların yeni yeni basılmaya başladığı bir dönem. Üstad da bu boşluğu dolduran nadir ve makbul imzalardan biri, kitapları o zamanın dindarlarının elinde dolaşıyor. Fikir ve dava mücadelesini yani Büyük Doğu’sunu zaten destekliyorlar ama din ve tasavvuf alanındaki eserlerini de iştiyakla okuyorlar. Babamın o zamanlar hatırladığım kadarıyla elli kadar kitabı var, bunların içinde benim için Halkadan Pırıltılar’ın yeri bambaşka. Tasavvuftan öğrendiğim ilk cümleler, ilk sözler bu kitaptan; tanıdığım ilk sufiler, şeyhler, dervişler bu kitaptan. Onun için hâlâ büyük özenle saklarım bu mübarek kitabı.
1977 yazı, benim artık kesin olarak namaza başladığım, İzmir MTTB’ye kaydolduğum, üç üstad tanıyıp kitaplarıyla hemhal olduğum bir zaman dilimi. Üstad Bediüzzaman, Üstad Necip Fazıl, Üstad Sezai Karakoç. İçerden ve dışardan daha birçok değerli zevatın eserlerinden de istifade ediyoruz ama bu üçünün yeri bambaşka. Risale-i Nurları dinliyor, okuyor, anlamak için lügatleri didikliyor, Osmanlıca öğrenmeye başlıyoruz ki aslından da okuyabilelim. Sezai Karakoç’un eserleriyle de tanışıyor ve Hızırla Kırk Saat’i sabah namazından sonra bir vird gibi okuyor ve manevi bir alana dalıyoruz.
“Giydiklerin öyle ölümsüz büzülmüş ki
Seni bir bardakta kaynayan
Âbıhayat sandım
Elim uzandığı yerde kaldı”
Veya o zamanın ideolojik ortamına hitap eden,
“Evrim günlük sularla
Devrim irinle kanla
Bizse dirilişi gözlüyoruz
Bengisu bengisu kayna ve çağla”
Mısraları bir çivi gibi hafızamıza ve yüreğimize kazınıyor.
Lakin en çok Üstad Necip Fazıl tesir ediyor bize. Fikirlerin ve ideolojilerin tartışıldığı bir dönemde yaşıyor olmamızdan ötürü olsa gerek daha çok Sakarya Türküsü, Zindandan Mehmede Mektup, Muhasebe, Destan gibi şiirlerini okuyor, okuyor, doyamıyor ve tabii ki ezberliyorduk. Fakat o dönemlerde Üstad, Milli Selamet Partisi’yle irtibatını kesmişti, MHP’nin bazı toplantı ve mitinglerine katılıyordu; bu yüzden olsa gerek bazı fanatikler bize “Neden okuyorsunuz hâlâ Necip Fazıl’ı” diyorlar, onların bize bu acayip sözleri neden söylediğini de (lise sona yeni geçmiş bir genç olarak) anlamıyor ama bildiğimizden yani Üstadı okumaktan, öğrenmekten ve ezberlemekten vazgeçmiyorduk. Çünkü o zamanlar ideolojiler dönemiydi, fikrin ve fikir adamlarına çok önem veriliyordu.70–80 arası anarşi dönemi diye bilinir ama yüksek fikirlerin de tartışıldığı, çözümlendiği ve değerlendirildiği yıllardı. (Anarşi olmasaydı fikren belki çok daha ileri seviyeye ulaşabilecektik; ya da anarşi bu değerli ortamı baltalamak için özellikle körüklenmişti. Daha söylenecek çok söz var, ama konumuz bu değil.) Eğer biz okumasak, ezberlemesek, kendimizi yetiştirmesek davamızı anlatamaz, tartışmalarda yenilir, tebliğ yapamazdık. Onun için üstadların kitapları, şiirleri, sözleri hatta posterleri başucumuzdaydı. Onların aleyhinde konuşanları kaale bile almazdık. Odamda (bizim nesilden birçok gençte olduğu gibi) şu şiirinin bulunduğu bir poster vardı:
“Aç kapıyı haber var
Ötenin ötesinden.
Dudaklarda şarkılar
Kurtuluş bestesinden
Biz geldik bilen bilsin
Gönül gönül girilsin.
İnsanlar devşirilsin
Sonsuzluk destesinden.”
1977–78 öğretim yılında Milliyetçi Cephe (Süleyman Demirel’in Adalet Partisi, Necmettin Erbakan’ın Milli Selamet Partisi ve Alpaslan Tüğrkeş’in Milliyetçi Hareket Partisi’nden oluşan koalisyona verilen isim), liselerin edebiyat ve tarih kitaplarını değiştirmiş; edebiyat kitaplarını (daha sonra İstanbul Edebiyat Fakültesi’nde hocamız olacak) Prof. Dr. Mehmet Kaplan’a hazırlatmıştı (Edebiyat, Lise 3, Devlet Kitapları, Milli Eğitim Basımevi, İstanbul 1977). Sarı saman kâğıda küçücük puntolarla basılmış, içinde hiçbir desen vb. olmayan kitaplardı bunlar ama o zamanlar böyle şekil kusurlarını görmezdik. Şimdiki edebiyat (aslında bütün ders) kitapları da pek içaçıcı değil ama o zamankiler –şimdi bakıyorum da- iyice kötüymüş; nasıl olmuş da edebiyattan soğumamışız, bilmiyorum. Her neyse bu kitaba Üstad’ın Kaldırımlar şiirini de almışlardı; o devir için bu devrim niteliğindeydi, solcu kesim bas bas bağırıyordu, gericilerin eserlerini okutuyorsunuz diye. Ama biz bunlarla ilgilenmiyorduk. Çünkü biz Üstad’ın eski şiirleriyle ilgilenmiyorduk; onlar bize eski Necip Fazıl’ın yani hidayet olunmadan önce yazmış olduğu ve çok da değerli olmayan eserleriymiş gibi geliyordu. Hatta Sakarya Türküsü gibi bizce neredeyse İstiklal Marşı gibi değerli muhteşem şiirlerini unutturmak için Kaldırımlar’ı öne çıkardıklarını düşünüyorduk. Yine de bu şiire sıra geldiğinde pürdikkattim, ama edebiyat öğretmenimiz kısa, hatta üstünkörü, yani ancak anahatlarıyla işledi bu şiiri. Türkçenin Cumhuriyet sonrası şiirinde ne derece önemli ve değerli bir yere sahip olduğunu söylemedi tabii; biz de çok daha sonraları öğrendik elbette. Hocamızın tavrını eleştirmiyorum, o zamanki ideolojik ortam da pek müsait değildi zaten. Öğretmenlerin dövüldüğü hatta öldürüldüğü bir zamanda yaşıyorduk, daha fazlası beklenemezdi. (3000 kişilik İzmir Atatürk Lisesi’nde topu topu 3 kişiydik namaz kılan, 10–15 kişiydik cumaya giden, “öz yurdumuzda garip”tik yani.)
1978 Haziranında Üniversiteye Giriş Sınavına (o zamanki adı ÖSYS-Öğrenci Seçme ve Yerleştirme Sınavı idi galiba) girmiş, sonra da bir grup arkadaşla beraber MTTB’nin Bursa Uludağ-Keles kampına katılmış, kamp bitince de İstanbul’a gitmiştik. İzmir MTTB için kitap almak üzere Cağaloğlu’ndaki bir binanın giriş katında bulunan Büyük Doğu Yayınevi’ne gitmiş ve epeyce bir kitap almıştık. Bize kitap veren ve 30–35 yaşlarındaki zat, istersek bizi Üstad’a götürebileceğini teklif etti ama bizim ağabeyler galiba o gün İzmir’e dönmek zorundaydılar. Onun için görmek nasip olmadı o zaman ve sonra da… İyice yaşlanmıştı artık Necip Fazıl Üstad, dışarıya pek çıkmıyordu. Zor da olsa yine de görmek mümkündü belki ama MTTB’nin son dönem yönetimi de Üstad’a pek ilgi göstermiyordu. Biz de İstanbul’a yeni gelmiştik, mahcup bir tavrımız vardı; içimizde bir ukdedir ama Üstad’ı göremedik. Lakin biz yine de kitaplarından istifade etmeye devam ediyorduk. Son kitaplarından Batı Tefekkürü ve İslam Tasavvufu’nu büyük bir dikkatle okuduğumuzu hatırlıyorum.
80 darbesinden sonra moralimiz bozulmuş, kahrolmuş, yine içimize kapanmıştık. Fatih’te 25 metrekarelik bekâr evimizde sabahlara kadar kitap okuyor, öğleye kadar yatıyor, antisosyal bir hayat sürüyorduk. O kara dönemde Üstad’ın kendi sesiyle şiirlerini okuduğu şiir kasedini yüzlerce kez dinlediğimizi hatırlıyorum. Üstad; çilesi, mücahedesi ve bunları harikulade bir şekilde aksettirdiği şiirleriyle bize ümit telkin etmeye devam ediyordu.
1983’ün Mayısında İstanbul’dan İzmir’e gelirken, otogarda Türk Edebiyatı Dergisi’ni almış, Üstad’ın Zehir başlıklı şiirini görüp çok beğenip yol boyunca okuya okuya ezberlemiştim.
“Çocukken haftalar bana asırdı
Derken saat oldu, derken saniye
İlk düşünce: beni yokluk ısırdı
Sonum yokluk olsa bu varlık niye
Yokluk sen de yoksun, bir var bir yoksun
İnsanoğlu kendi varından yoksun
Gelsin beni yokluk akrebi soksun
Bir zehir ki hayat özü faniye.”
Nereden bilirdim bu şiirin Üstad’ın son şiiri olduğunu, 83 yaşındaki bir şairin ancak Necip Fazıl gibi bir fazıl olmasa bu kadar büyük bir şiir yazamayacağını, şiirinde ölümü bir veli gibi kabullendiğini, başka kimselere böyle haller nasip olmayacağını…
Bir ikindi vakti annemle balkonda oturuyorduk. Radyo açıktı, 17.00 haberleri başladı ve Üstad’ın vefat haberini verdi. Tüylerimin nasıl diken diken olduğunu, içeriye radyonun başına nasıl koştuğumu, hâlâ dünmüş gibi yaşıyorum. Babamızı kaybetmiş gibiydik, manevi babamızı, Üstad babamızı. İzmir’de olduğum için cenazesine katılamadım ama mezarını çok defalar ziyaret ettim, kimi zaman gözümde yaşlarla, kimi zaman ta kabrinin başına varıncaya kadar hafızamdaki şiirlerini içim ürpere ürpere okuyarak…
***
“Gideriz nur yolu izde gideriz
Taş bağırda sular dizde gideriz
Bir gün olur, biz de gideriz
Kalır dudaklarda şarkımız bizim.”
(Şarkımız şiirinden)
Böyle büyük şahsiyetlerden üç türlü istifade vardır. Ya bizzat talebesi olursunuz, dergisine gazetesine yardımcı olur, sohbet ve konferanslarını dinler, dava arkadaşlığı yaparsınız ki bu en yetkin istifadedir. Ya da kitaplarını okur, şiirlerini ezberler, üzerine araştırma yapar, yazı yazarsınız ki bu da oldukça önemli ve öğreticidir. Veyahut yararlandığınızın farkına varmadan istifade edersiniz. Nasıl mı? Bu büyük bilgelerin düşünceleri, sözleri, eserleri bir süre sonra anonimleşir, hatta kendileri hayattayken bile yaygınlık kazanır. Çünkü onu okuyanlar veya dinleyenler başkalarına anlatır, onlar da başkalarına. Bazen bu zatların söz ve fiillerinin bir başka büyüğe bile atfedildiği görülür. Hele Anadolu’nun sözel kültürü hâlâ devam ettiren geleneksel havası buna bu kadar müsaitken.
Biz ikinci çerçeveye dâhiliz, birincil olmak isterdik ama yaşımız ve zamanımız müsait değildi. Buna rağmen üzerimizde büyük emeği var, bunu biraz olsun anlatabilmek için bazı hatıralarımızdan bahsettik. Merhum Üstad Necip Fazıl Kısakürek; şiirleri, sözleri, düşünceleri, kitapları ve hakkında anlatılanlarla ta çocukluğumuzdan beri hatta ruhumuza işlemiş bir büyük şahsiyettir. Biz onlarla doğduk, büyüdük, yaşadık ve hâlâ da öyleyiz. Bu yüzden onun değerinin bilinmemesi ya da hatalarının gereksiz bir şekilde anlatılması (sanki hatasız kul varmış gibi) veya unutturulmaya çalışılması veyahut gereği gibi ele alınmayışı, yaptığı büyük mücadelelerin gözardı edilmesi, bizi derinden yaralıyor. Hele bazı yeniyetmelerin çıkıp da hiç utanmadan “Necip Fazıl’ın şiiri ilkel bir şiirdir” demesi kahrediyor bizi, sanki onun şiirlerini doğru dürüst okumuşlar gibi, sanki onun büyük külliyatını biraz olsun incelemişler gibi…
Üstad Necip Fazıl’ın eserleri, sözleri ve şiirleri, çöldeki yolculara ikram edilen sular gibi serinletirdi bizi. Onları içer, iyileşir; okur, anlatır, ferahlanır; öğrenir, öğretir, rahat eder ve böylece davamıza hizmet ederdik. Onun eserleri hâlâ böyledir, hâlâ ilaç gibidir, hâlâ muhteşemdir. Ama bazı hastalar vardır ki hastalıklarının farkında değildir, hatta inkâr ederler rahatsız olduklarını. Öyle zavallıdırlar.
Onlar zavallı ve hasta olarak kalsınlar, biz Üstad’ı bir kez daha okuyalım, bir kere daha devirelim külliyatını, bir defa daha inceleyelim mücadelesini…
Ne dersiniz?
/// Haydar Murad Hepsev tarafından kaleme alınan bu yazı, Yüce Devlet Dergisi’nde (1 Eylül 2010, 6. sayı) yayınlanmıştır.
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