YÜRÜYEN KASİDE
giriş
ra’şelerle titreyen dünya
dalgalarla sarsılan kıyılar,
içten ve dıştan kavrulan kürre
dönen yuvarlanan ve giden kainat.
…
yıkılan bizans
yıkılan doğu
yıkılan roma
yıkılan batı.
…
fecr-i sadık
doğan güneş,
ısınan dünya
dirilen âlem.
…
aşkımız
ufkumuz
vatanımız
dünyamız.
KABUS
kan içtim ben
gözyaşımın kanını
boğazımdan geçmedi boğuldum
yardım gırtlağımı,
yüreğime oturdu kan
tıkadı kapaklarını
patladı ve fışkırdı sonra
soğutup dondurdu damarlarımı,
kan çanaklarım gözlerim
alev alev yandı, pıhtılaştırdı
durdurdu inen yaşları
bitirdi akan kanları.
çıbanla sıvadım her yerimi
kaynar su döktüm bedenime,
zehirli otları ayıkladım
merhem yaptım kendime.
ve kan yırttı bedenimi
sıyırdı boydan boya
mezara girdim böylece
ve çamur örttü bedenimi.
HATIRLA
yıldız takmış elif tuğları
nal sesleri, kılıç şakırtıları
yorgun başlar öne eğilmiş
dile gelmiş geceler konuşmuş,
at üzerinde ilm-i hey’et
gittikçe çoğalan
baktıkça artan yıldızlar,
kandillerle donanmış dünya
çepeçevre noktalanan kainat,
yorgun hakikat yüreklerde
gözlerde yorgun dikkat
nal sesleri tıkırtılar,
kalpleriyle yürüyen
gecelerde yorgun bakışlar.
çekilenler ordusu bırakılan
salıverilen ve tutulan,
dalga sesleri iyot kokusu ve yeşil
ve rüzgar ve meltem ve esen
tayfun ve kasırga ve savrulan
tutulan ve bırakılan ordu.
ve işte biz
oynaşan atlarımızla okraşan
beraber önündeyiz fırtınalı denizin,
yürürken yol yürüyor bize
biz yürüyoruz yola
ışık geliyor türbeden.
haydi denilince haydalanan atlar
koca burunlarında uzun soluklar,
sıcak çok sıcak yazlar terli yüzler
karlı soğuk günler uzun soluklar,
sert kayalar, çamurlu dereler
tomruklar, kütükler, omçalar,
sultan ve kahraman ordu.
HAL-İ HAZIR
“uyandır bizi allahım
ölüm bizi uyarmadan”
ve sen uyuyorsun duvarda kılıç
kalkanlar giriyor rüyalarına,
duvarlar duvarlar ve mezar taşları
çığlık çığlık martılar
serin sakin bir rüzgar,
ve sen uyuyorsun duvarda kılıç.
ulu bir şara varam ben
susup durup bekleyem,
sabır yapıp kanımı
çağlayan çağlayan akıtam,
deniz misali coşup
bir dağ gibi oturam,
ulu bir şara varam ben.
yüreğimde kara batman
sevdası göğsümün
ah edip fırlayan,
birdenbire kara bir duman
gözlerime uğrayan
ile beraber giderek
rağmenlere direnip
birdenbire saplanan hançer.
uyumak uyumaya inanmalıdır
konuşmak da konuşmaya,
hazırlanmalıdır
bir dili konuşmadan daha
başka bir lisan bulmaya,
yutmadan lokmayı daha
özge bir nimet bulmaya.
durma gir
selam ayetleriyle girilen kapıdan
durma iç
şifa ayetleriyle içilen sudan.
FECR-İ ATİ
kristal çatlar bir ney sesiyle,
yağmur bölünür bir servi üstünde,
bir martı bekler durur kubbe üzerinde
açmış kanatlarını gökten yollanmış.
bir gönül yarılır
bir dağ kalıntısı uhud’dan
misal olur inşasına.
birden gök de yarılır
gecenin de gölgesi olur
şavkıyla aşk şimşeğinin.
soyar gölgeden birden
güneşe fırlatır gölgeleri
karaları yıldızlara
galaksilere siyahları.
BİTİŞ
güneşle geliyorum sana ben
yüreğimde dolunayla,
odak yaptım kendimi
yaktım merkezimi.
bir gül olarak açtım ben
bekledim kendimi şarkımı söyledim
bülbülü oldum yüreğimin
sevgilisi
gözlerimin.
haydar murad
*Bu şiir, Şiir Bilgisi (Mayıs 1992, s.70–74) kitabında yayınlanmıştır.
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