GÜNEŞTEN BİR ADIM UZAK-YAKIN OTURUM
aşinadır
köhne kokusu gölgelerin çarşılarda
ve şehrin
yaz bile olsa sokakları.
kılcal kılcal soğuk tutar elleri
kara bir yüreksizlik tutar da
beklerim bildik insanların
hatıra olsa da hayal resimlerdeki
uyuşmayan gözlerini agyarla.
günü geçmiştir bendeki korkunun
şimdiki zamanda bunalımlar neşeler
anlatılır zamanı geldiğinde
kök salmanın güvencesi vardır.
gününde caddeler dar kişiler genişti
kaba yürek gerekti ince cesaretlere
adı vardı tanıdık sokakların
adresi,
gümüş ışıklı pınarlardan doldurup
koca küplerden içen insanlar vardı.
geçiyorum, tozları yol gösterir
gözlerimde kayıp bulutların öfkesi,
deniz kıyısında bir kahve vardır
yorulmuşum ki öylecesine
kuşlar geçmese bir karış üstünden
denizi kusasım gelir.
evet aşinadır
köhne kokusu gölgelerin
çarşılarında tüccar ağabeyler büyük
kötü gözle bakarlar yeni bir gelene,
sokaklar
ayaklarını görmeyerek yaşayanların ki
kırmızıda bekleyerek
gözlerini aksata meydanında
ellerini halkayla yitirmişlerdir;
ve iki korku boylamında
paralel mutlu çapraz iyimserliklerdir,
ayakların altından kayan yer
üstümüzde mavilikler olsa da,
bir devrimden ötekine
uslu insanların aşık olması
kışkırtıcıdır
ihtilal yapmaya mavi bir nisanda.
baharı bekledim
kıvılcımlı çınarlar altından geçmeye,
asırlık yanlışları şüpheye düşürüp
eski bir kuyudan su çıkarmaya,
kesmesi zor değil elleri
yünlü bir kepenek giyip
sıcak günlerde hücrelerimi kertmeye,
sular kadar konuşmak için
ağaçlar toprağa bırakmalı solmuş yapraklarını.
kabaran damarlarımdaki itiraz ateşini
söndüremez eclectic ‘düşünüyorsam’lar,
yeşil ülkesi istila olmuştur gölgelerin
çınarların öfkesini bilerek
kökleriyle bir iddia peşindedir.
bir yaz ikindisinde sıcak
gözyaşları elle tutulamadığından
yıllar üst üste iki kez, günler daha
fazla yaşanır olmuştur.
işte gün ortasında birden uyumak isteyebilirdim
ama ‘enelhak’ dedimse de asmadılar,
bir an önce çıkmak için mahkemeye
güvenceli bir belge ellerimde;
peki, kötü bakıyorum onlara ben de
aşinalıktan bahsedilmez olmuştur,
öfkem gitmemekliğe, kabaran yüreğimle
saçlarım var simsiyah diye
denize atacaklar boğulmayacağım.
haydar murad
*Bu şiir, Güneşten Bir Adım Uzak-Yakın Oturum (Haziran 1990, s.6–9) kitabında yayınlanmıştır.
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t バックand decorations.Since crowds are lighter,
ダッチワイフ エロskin softeners are promoted widely to further embellish such kinesthetic allure.And giving oneself a tan,
ラブドール エロbelittlement,and rage outbursts.