ONDAN SONRA
dilimde pelesenktir “ondan sonra”
lakin vird-i zebanımdır: ondan sonra
ta küçüklüğümden beri
derim her daim, ondan sonra
merak ettim nedendir diye
annem de demekte her zaman, ondan sonra
lakin aldım kabul ettim
dedim her yerde ben de, ondan sonra
dalgın iken yorgun iken neş’eliyken
derim dost meclisinde, ondan sonra
ve hatta derim üst üste
ondan sonra ondan sonra
ama toparlarım kendimi resmi yerlerde
bir kere bile demem, ondan sonra
kalem mi kelam mı diye sual etsen
eyvallah derim kaleme ondan sonra
söz ki nimetlerin büyüğüdür
anladım anladım amma neden sonra
lakin acizlik var bu fakirde
onun için derim ondan sonra her yerde
sussam ve bir ömür boyu ağzımı açmasam
ALLAH desem son nefeste, ondan sonra
kabre girsem bismillah diyerek
örtsem toprağı üstüme, ondan sonra.
ondan sonralar gözyaşı dökseler arkamdan
velakin ben dahi bir daha ağlamasam…
haydar murad
* Bu şiir, Yüce Devlet Dergisi’nde (14 Mart 2011, 8. sayı) yayınlanmıştır.
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